I have two things that have been going on inside of me for a while now. I know that I need to blog about certain things when I just can't shake them from my brain and heart. Instead of writing two different posts, I will just do the first half about HSM and the second half about me. Oh, for those of you who don't know, HSM stands for Heartland School of Ministry. My husband attends along with some dear friends of ours.
So here is the HSM part:
I have been feeling for a while now the urging to just pray for the school. It has gone through attack, it seems, from all directions. This is no suprise; however, because Dr. Tapper, a professor, prophesied at orientation that the enemy was going to come almost in waves, but God would raise up a wall that would block his attempts. There would be multiple attacks until God would erect a final wall that could not be penetrated or overcome by the enemy. I feel such an urging to write about this, because as a former ministry student, I understand how easy it is to forget the significant details when surrounded by ministry all of the time. I feel I have an objective point of view, because I am somewhat of an observer that is not surrounded; therefore, I feel that I can see it as a whole. Anyhow, I know of so many students that have struggled in more ways than one to get to the school, remain at the school, and prosper without fainting. I have watched my brothers and sisters endure hardships and trials that are significant even to the seasoned christian. I have seen and heard of the impartation that God is rushing their way.
I knew my heart couldn't contain my words about this when I popped in the CD of John Potter prophesying over each student. There were so many common phrases and words that I heard. I often heard talk of partnership, expanding limitations, as well as fire and power annointings. The most significant word that he uttered was of uniting the students! He said that through partnership and relationship with one another, each one would reach more potential and advancement in the spiritual. He implored that one must not "rank" themselves amongst each other, but each one is knitted with the others as in an elaborate quilt. (This was my interpretation, not John's exact words.)
I just wanted to say to each HSM'er to beware! To whom much is given much is required. I know that I have had a tendancy to take prophesy lightly and just to focus on the good. I know God was speaking to me that each one much realize that a prophesy direct from God is as the bible in that it is a LIVING word. Just as we are held accountable for what is in the word, we are held accountable to the instructions given through words of prophesy. I would never compare that prophesy is equal to or better than the Bible, but I am saying that it is the spoken word of God that must NOT be taken lightly. Please hear my heart and know that I am not saying this to preach to any HSM'er.
I hope and pray that each student will grab hold of that living word invested and act on it. I know that revival is on it's way when this is done. Lastly, I want to mention what I believe to be a product of that encounter through John Potter. There are some girl students that are in one apartment together, and it is amazing to hear of the God movings that occur within that apartment. I feel that just as the word given that day said, they are knit together and God is showing up in a HUGE WAY. I just dare myself to believe that if the whole school did this as a whole, then revival would show up and show out! Oh, my heart pounds at the thought of it.
So HSM students, I want you to know that you are daily being prayed for and uplifted! I believe each student is a piece of the quilt of revival!
So here is the JENNA part:
I have been going through something that I think all wives go through at some point. I have been treating my husband in a way that I know he doesn't deserve. Don't get me wrong, I haven't been terrible or anything drastic, but I knew something was in my heart that just wasn't right. After weeks of talking to God about it, I have now come to a conclusion. I have neglected to cultivate the beauty of who I am inside. It is such a hard line to draw for a wife of God to submit, but yet be bold in the Lord. I am opinionated and bossy, but I am also self-driven and strong. As I began to doubt who I was now and who I would be in Dustin's ministry, I began to blame him. I am in the process of repentence, and I know that my outward behavior was a result of my inward state.
I learned that I must cultivate the beauty of who I am in God. I am first His, then my husband's. I have learned that I don't need to fade behind my husband's ministry, but I need to simply have his back. I choose to walk behind him AND beside him. I always thought that it had to be one or the other. There are times when I need to be behind him as support and then there are times when I need to be beside him in warfare! I have learned that submitting to your husband isn't always a passive role. It is a very active one! I have a voice and I am proud to proclaim the truth of God. I also have the discipline to shut the same voice when my husband needs to speak as the head of me. I thank God for helping me to see the dual roles of a godly wife. I listened to the prophesy I spoke of earlier in this post over and over at the part of my husband's. I want to know God's plan as much as I can frontwards and backwards so that I will be turned the right direction at the right time when I am behind him. I want to be positioned to the right when he begins to see that the right side is the next direction. I will always do as he directs, but I want to be support even in scary transitions so that every ounce of his back is covered!
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