I've been experiencing such a hunger for the Word that I have never experienced in my spiritual walk. Reading and studying my Word has often seemed more like a chore than anything else. I honestly think the prayers from my "mentor" have really made the difference. There is no other way that I can explain it. Regardless of what it is, I'm so grateful because I am learning so much.
Anywho, there is a song/artist that I love! Watermark is what they are called. They are a husband/wife team; however, they haven't put out any new music in years. I still download their music. I have never been a big music person, but I adore piano type worship that it deeply heartfelt and thoughtful. This one song in particular has captured my attention! "My Heart, Your Home" has become my mantra.
My Heart, Your Home
Come and make my heart Your home
Come and be everything I am and all I know
Search me through and through
‘Till my heart becomes a home for You
CHORUS
A home for You, Lord
A home for You, Lord
Let everything I do open up
A door for You to come through
And that my heart would be a place
Where You want to be…
CHORUS
You are my portion, filling up everything
You are the fortune, that’s causing my heart to sing
That it’s amazing…
That You could make Yourself at home with me
I started thinking about what it means to have a home. Afterall, if I want God to be at home in my heart...I think I should think about what a home is to the one living inside of it.....So I made a list.
Home:
-Something you must have a key to get into
-I trust my belongings there
-There is a place of relationships, entertainment, nourishment.
-It must be cleaned up, prepared, and updated
-Nothing should be scattered...everything should have its own place
-I have free reign of my home
I really do want my heart to be His home. I give Him access, room for His belongings, a neat space just for Him, and I give Him free reign.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Hold Me Down
Wow, what can I say?....It has been soo long since I have blogged. I honestly work so much that it is very hard to make time for this little stuff that I enjoy so much. I have a note page in my iphone that has lists of blog titles. I think of little sermonettes or testimonettes (ha) all of the time. Sometimes, I get the urge to just take a pastor's microphone and start talking. I know that it will all come as God wills. I never feel preachy, I just feel like I have so many words just bottled up. Blogging gives me a great outlet, so I appreciate you taking the time to read and/or ponder what I have to say.
The most urgent message on my heart deals with a sermon that I heard today. Lately, I have been honestly experiencing doubt. It seems that I would rather doubt God's existance than realize I must accept the fact that EVERYTHING is really in God's hands should I make ministry and God my life. God has really put me in a season of Apologetics personally. God is making sure I know what I believe and why.
I was sitting in the sauna today, and it hit me to just talk out all of my doubts with God. I told Him how I know that He exists and I thanked Him for every time He has proved Himself real! I began to tell Him how I felt, and I felt such a release. I found no condemnation....just unconditional LOVE. This is exactly what reassured me of His existance. When you are feeling so dirty and filthy, God clothes you the moment you lay yourself fully and exposed at His feet.
Today, the preacher on the radio was telling a story of how he had jumped into a pool but had scraped his chin badly on the side. He explained that when he was a kid, stitched weren't as advanced as they are now. They were painful, yet necessary. He went on to say that just before the doctor was about to stitch him up, the doctor instructed his father to hold down his arms. The father did not hesitate before holding down his arms. This is the perfect example of God's love. Sometimes, He has to hold you down in order to make you better. This may have hit home with me because I had such an earthly father; however, I am so thankful that my Heavenly Father is this way as well! The sermon was very good! He also explained that God does things for us not to us! He will also do what's best for us and not necessarily what is good to us.
As Kari Jobe clearly explains my current state: "I know that You are for me, I know You'll never forsake me in my weakness!"
I think I was finding a way out of my own fear that serving God would mean something like unexpected persecution or something terrible. When I finally surrendered that to God unashamedly, He accepted it and replaced a spirit of fear with a spirit of confidence. I may not know what tomorrow holds in my life, but I have found a love greater than life!
Extra titles I could have blogged:
-Let Your Lillypad become Your Platform - The bible talks about how God spreads out the ground beneath our steps. Sometimes, we have to step out onto shakyness, but God makes it wide and firm as our foot comes down. I felt the Holy Spirit confirm to me that this is stepping out in faith, and that this will be the platform to which the world will hear of His goodness.
-What if God gave His 10% - I'm so thankful that God gives way more than His 10%. This revealed to me that He does ask for 10% of our income....that is not to say that we are dismissed from giving our all spiritually, physically, and emotionally to Him. We do this out of love for Him, not out of duty.
The most urgent message on my heart deals with a sermon that I heard today. Lately, I have been honestly experiencing doubt. It seems that I would rather doubt God's existance than realize I must accept the fact that EVERYTHING is really in God's hands should I make ministry and God my life. God has really put me in a season of Apologetics personally. God is making sure I know what I believe and why.
I was sitting in the sauna today, and it hit me to just talk out all of my doubts with God. I told Him how I know that He exists and I thanked Him for every time He has proved Himself real! I began to tell Him how I felt, and I felt such a release. I found no condemnation....just unconditional LOVE. This is exactly what reassured me of His existance. When you are feeling so dirty and filthy, God clothes you the moment you lay yourself fully and exposed at His feet.
Today, the preacher on the radio was telling a story of how he had jumped into a pool but had scraped his chin badly on the side. He explained that when he was a kid, stitched weren't as advanced as they are now. They were painful, yet necessary. He went on to say that just before the doctor was about to stitch him up, the doctor instructed his father to hold down his arms. The father did not hesitate before holding down his arms. This is the perfect example of God's love. Sometimes, He has to hold you down in order to make you better. This may have hit home with me because I had such an earthly father; however, I am so thankful that my Heavenly Father is this way as well! The sermon was very good! He also explained that God does things for us not to us! He will also do what's best for us and not necessarily what is good to us.
As Kari Jobe clearly explains my current state: "I know that You are for me, I know You'll never forsake me in my weakness!"
I think I was finding a way out of my own fear that serving God would mean something like unexpected persecution or something terrible. When I finally surrendered that to God unashamedly, He accepted it and replaced a spirit of fear with a spirit of confidence. I may not know what tomorrow holds in my life, but I have found a love greater than life!
Extra titles I could have blogged:
-Let Your Lillypad become Your Platform - The bible talks about how God spreads out the ground beneath our steps. Sometimes, we have to step out onto shakyness, but God makes it wide and firm as our foot comes down. I felt the Holy Spirit confirm to me that this is stepping out in faith, and that this will be the platform to which the world will hear of His goodness.
-What if God gave His 10% - I'm so thankful that God gives way more than His 10%. This revealed to me that He does ask for 10% of our income....that is not to say that we are dismissed from giving our all spiritually, physically, and emotionally to Him. We do this out of love for Him, not out of duty.
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