In my home, I take the issue of discipline very seriously. I don't take lightly the responsibility that I have in raising up Jesus freaks. I often feel the pressure of impacting my children for the better as an almost impossible task. Since Kindle's birth, I have prayed countless times for The Helper, Holy Spirit, to lead me case by case. And He has been there every step of the way.
I know most of my friends are in the same boat as I watch them, from a distance, becoming the best they can be out of love for their babies. Having children really is the greatest motivator on the planet to be the best you.
This morning, I was drinking my VENTI coffee that normally powers me through my cleaning day, and the Holy Spirit laid understanding of my current parenting situation on me so clearly.
To give you a quick background to what I have been dealing with..... Kindle has found her attitude. Immediately upon any type of frustration, she will let out a blood curdling yell, growl, grunt, whatever you wanna call it. As mommy, I have been doing my normal discipline routine, which is Room or Fun. (She can have fun with me out of her room or she can be ugly by herself in her room.) Room or Fun does solve the immediate need of discipline, but it certainly hasn't addressed the root. In fact, this very morning she rolled her eyes! Yikes.
I am very aware that I could just spank the mess out of her, which is how I was raised. I'm not debating that to be right or wrong. I'm simply stating that whatever discipline is in place, it is a response to the action short term.
So what about this root I'm dealing with?... What do I do? This is a question I have been mulling over time and time again for about a week or two. Then the Lord spoke to me. I know in my heart that there are times where my children need to feel my boundary set as they test my position as mommy, but there are REAL times in their lives where they are in discovery mode of different paths available for them to take.
I know that parenting often takes the form of my relationship with God. Afterall, He is my PERFECT Father, and I am his daughter. There are those times the Lord will speak correction so clearly; yet, there are times he allows us to continue on our unknown detour until we realize that we are on the wrong path. At that point, He is never far away. In fact, it seems He's there right at that exact moment, just a heart cry away.
WHY? Why does it happen this way? I believe sometimes we need correction (direction..discipline) and sometimes we need to find connection with God.
As a parent, I don't always want to give direction. I'm not wanting to limit the power in my children to find goodness and love within themselves. Sometimes, I realize that I would rather wait out her showing some attitude in order to feel the connection of her preferring my feelings...ultimately, choosing connection versus immediate self-gratification.
So this is where I'm at as I work very hard to take case by case with my children. I need to observe and assess their hearts and all the factors in every given situation. Mothers very closely imitate the role of Holy Spirit in the lives of their children. We are the nurturer, the comforter, and the helper they so desperately depend on as young children, and my goal is to establish this faithfully to them in order for them to transition to Holy Spirit with their whole hearts yielded by faith and trust that they found in mommy.
My ultimate question is this...What is my goal? Whatever my answer is to this, Holy Spirit will help. I believe in the goodness of my daughters. I seek to pull it out of them as young children. I'm willing to let them walk through things within the safety of my protection in order for them to find relationship and connection to be the most valuable thing they possess. I have learned that sometimes they must walk through it to get to the other side, and other times, they must hit a wall (correction) and make a sharp turn.
So I pray I continue to find the right balance of correction and connection to raise up disciples of Jesus Christ.
Proverbs 1:1-4
To know wisdom and instruction, to perceive the words of understanding, to receive the instruction of wisdom, justice, judgment, and equity; To give prudence to the simple, to the young man knowledge and discretion.
