PINK EYE

My life has been consumed with pink eye lately. I hate it! I couldn't work, and I can't see until Monday. I can't put my contacts back in until Monday.

Dustin and others have taken the best care of me. Dustin has cooked, cleaned, tucked me in to bed, made sure I was taking the right medicine at the right time, etc. He also helped calm me down when I started itching to death and freaking out because the Hydrocodone was making me feel loopy. I hate feeling out of control. I am so grateful for those people ( you know who you are ) that have taken such good care for me. I think the greatest love is love expressed when it wasn't required of that person!

I also feel such anticipation for the future. I know the future is a wonderful place. Jesus is in the driver's seat and I know that wherever we end up...it will be great! I don't have to be a passanger seat driver to know that His driving ends up in paradise!

Tomorrow, I am cooking pancakes for friends! I'm excited.

Whew!

The last week has been total chaos! I had a very tough week at work last week as I have no clue how to put a pre-k room together. Now that it is done and the kiddos are here, I am having a much better week. I have been sooo mentally drained...I can't even begin to explain.

Today I was blessed to pray with one of my girls. We prayed that Jesus would make her tummy feel better. We all said a prayer of thanks at lunch, and I got all the tight hugs I wanted! I try to hug and kiss every kid before they leave the room.

This has been a very rewarding experience already. I remembered today God telling me that I was to have my own ministry. I experienced this during an all night prayer rally. I had always though ministry was in Dustin's territory, but God assured me that I would be ministering. I hesitated but accepted it. I realized today that this is what this job has me doing! I talk about Jesus, pray with them, etc. The money issue seems to just fade away when I realize that this is really ministry! I'm a vessel of the Lord in shaping the young minds of our future.

I'm getting better at not feeling guilty or ashamed for not providing more for Dustin while he is in school. Steve Hill helped me put all of that into perspective. If I take care of God's house, He will take care of my house!

I've been getting a little lonely, lately. Dustin and I haven't been on a date in weeks, and I am about to burst. I know one is coming right around the corner.

I have a easy recipe that everyone should know about. When it cools, it tastes just as good as American Cookie Company...if not better. I am not joking.
spray pan
flatten a roll of cookie dough at the bottom
then layer one block of cream cheese mixed with powdered sugar (combine the two until desired sweetness)
flatten a roll of cookie dough on top
Bake till golden brown.
*You must let it cool for it to taste right. It needs to be at least room temperature or cooler. It lasts for days and it is sooooo good.

Bitter-Sweet.....but mostly SWEET!

This is my preschool classroom. Yes, I got a job! Hooray. It is bitter-sweet, because my miracle came in a different package than I was expecting.....God always seems to do that with me. I think he is trying to show me something...ya think?

I went for an interview on Tuesday. My boss called me on Wednesday and offered me the job. She is paying me the top wage that she is allowed, because I am a little over-qualified for the job...on paper that is. I don't think by any means that I am above working at a preschool. This is such a God thing in so many ways.

First, God has been showing me through studying and praying to not get too connected here. I'm not sure if that is in Texas or to teaching or what.? All I know is that I heard it and I'm seeing confirmation after confirmation. I know for sure that Dustin is to finish school of course, but I keep seeing God gently tell me to not establish "roots". I know that I am supposed to get involved with things, but He keeps nudging me to realize that no place on this earth is my home. As Watchman Nee puts it, "This earth is my temporary inn, or dwelling place."

Anyways, Pastor Janice informed me that she had over one hundred applicants for this job and had been interviewing for over a week. She never felt a peace about anyone. She told me that she knew when she was interviewing me that I was the one. She had six other interviews after me and she said that she wanted to call them and cancel, but she went through them anyways. This is a God thing! My first day on the job, she sat with me in my classroom and prayed with me. She is spirit-filled and is very passionate about her teacher being as well. I couldn't ask for a better working environment.

The reason I have said that this is bitter-sweet is because I catch myself feeling like a failure that I don't have a normal 1-5 classroom. I think more of my hurt lies in the fact that I so wanted to show everyone that God could provide me with a job in an impossible situation. I guess I am afraid that people will not see God's glory behind this job. I learned something beautiful behind this, though. I realized that God cared more about what was right for me and that school than He did about showing people that He could do it. It taught me that giving God glory for something isn't about Him providing in the impossible.....it's about giving Him glory for giving me what I need. He is the ultimate example in loving, isn't He? Oh, how my heart longs for this kind of foresight and wisdom. I also think about the huge pay cut, but then I remember how just having enough is what it's all about. I would rather my faith be strengthened than to be handed everything on a silver pladder. Lastly, I guess I'm also a little sad that I couldn't provide more comfort for my husband. He deserves the absolute best money can buy.

However, I know this is the plan God has for me and that I want to prove myself faithful with little....although the Holy Spirit quickens me to understand that teaching Jesus and knowledge to little ones for life is a very big responsibility. Maybe one day those little ones will draw on something that I have taught and modeled to them in life. I so want to show them how to make good choices and how to be successful in life. The best part is that I get to teach Jesus! That takes the cake!

On a different note, Dustin, Richie, and Justin have all been in orientation for school. I'm so stink'n excited for them. Those boys hold a very special place in my heart. Richie is quickly becoming a part of the family! Tuckie initiated him in by offering to let Richie play with him and his big boy bone! ha

Well, I guess I should straightn' up the house and get ready for the guys to come home.

"The B-I-B-L-E....Yes, that's the book for me"

I have been going through a particularly difficult time in my life these last couple of weeks. It has truely been a roller coaster. The job in Keller did not work out, but God has opened another door, for which I am perfect for. I will know something tomorrow. It is a christian preschool. The pay is much better than other preschools I have checked into and it offers paid vacation. I found the opening on Craigslist.com, and the lady told me that she had over one hundred viable candidates that applied. She informed me that she has been praying and seeking God on who to hire for the position. It is a pay cut, but I couldn't ask for a better working environment. All of the staff and the preschool are founded on everything I believe. They are spirit filled and even meet for a bible study once a month at the boss's house.

I've been reading and studying the word so much more than I ever have before. I'm not quite sure what leads me into a season of not reading my instruction manuel. I have been studying Abraham. I have learned sooooo much! I have learned the importance of intercession for both believers and non-believers. I have learned about how to handle every day situations, such as telling white-lies..etc. Today, I learned: that men would not do ill, if at first they did not think ill! I fwe have entered a wrong course, this will not excuse our knowingly persisting in it! I also learned that many are full of the blessings of God's providence that are strangers to the blessings of His covenent. I got most of those phrasings from the commentary, but I understand the applications as they are represented throughout the life and events in Abraham's life.

Lastly, a great friend has moved in with us in order to attend Steve Hill's school of ministry. He is a Teen Challenger, and he is a pleasure to get to know. Honestly, at first, I was hesitant because I didn't really know him that well. However, now I realize that it is such a blessing to us in many ways. I completely trust that this is God's will for us. It makes my heart smile in helping people such as Richie. I also rediscover peace about the situation as I remember telling Dustin over six months ago that I felt that we were supposed to have a student stay with us. I had totally dismissed it until it came to my memory again just a day or two ago.

Well, I'll keep you posted on my miracle....by the way, my miracle is whatever God has in store for me. It may not be packaged as I thought it would, but He works all things for the good for those that love Him.

What the Heck?

Well, today was not such a good day. Dustin and I decided to keep ourselves busy as we were sure I would get a phone call either way today.....nothing. We are both tense and aren't our normal selves and I hate it.

I decided to help out with a ministry at the church, and I messed up the dessert. It was kinda like the straw that broke the camels back, because I just began crying my eyes out. It was good to get some emotion out. I had to call and let the peopole know that I wasn't going to make it. The girl gave me 1Peter 1:3-8, which is what I had a huge revelation about about a week ago. That confirmed that that is exactly what is going on with us...a spiritual attack.

I'm okay now, but was discouraged as I felt I had no one to talk to. I feel like I always give out, but nothing comes in.....which inspired my title for this post. "What the Heck?" I know that I have people that would hear me, but having a friend that you can vent to would be great.

Anyways, God was there as always and knows my heart. Thank goodness! I've cleaned the house..now I am about to watch a movie until Dustin comes home.

What Now?

Today has been a very stressful day. As you know, I went on an interview on Monday. The principal told me that she would notify me on Thursday...today. I haven't heard anything. At the risk of looking very unprofessional, I called at 4:30 today, and the secretary told me that the principal has been in a retreat for two days. I talked myself into calling knowing that their decision has been made for days. They were waiting till today to make sure the successful candidate passed a background test. Well, the long awaited "Thursday" is here and I still don't know. For that school to expect so much out of new hires, they sure don't keep their word.

For a long time I was moping, but then I decided that it just wasn't going to effect my day! I have dont the absolute best I could...and by golly, that is good enough. I know that miracle is still on the way. I can see God's hand on this since the beginning, and I am not going to doubt now....or feel sorry for myself. God helped me through four years of school, placed me in a student teaching position that is the same grade and subject as the position that I just interviewed for. God placed a representative from that district in my path to set up the interview and then helped me through it!

All I know is that I have done EVERYTHING God has told me to do as well as tons of effort in order to be pleasing to Him. As my pastor says, " I've done everything I can, so God is doing everything I can't."

So just like my last few posts, I will keep you updated on my miracle! This will NOT take my joy! Blessings will run me down and take me over!

For the first time, I feel a little homesick.

Let the Waiting Begin!

I had a great weekend as we got to spend some great time with my parents. We got a Johnny's take and bake, which is awesome considering Dustin really misses Johnny's Pizza.

Today, I did great during my interview. I answered all of the quesitons confidently and with great teacher lingo. I know that they interviewed several people...so that makes it hard to wait. There are a couple of things that I wish I had said, but I guess everyone thinks of things they could say after the whole event is over. On a scale of 1-10, I think I gave it a solid 9. My only hesitation is that the math department head was a little bit rigid. I felt that no matter what I said, she would have reacted the same way. There were five people interviewing me, so it was quite nerve-wracking at first.

I know that God began this work, so I know He is faithful to complete it! This interview was only possible through personal connections I made through someone I met at church. I know that my miracle is here. I should know their final decision on Thursday. They said they would make the decision today, but there is a process they have to go through which takes a few days. No matter what happens, I know that this is a part of the process to receiving my miracle.

Dustin and I have also made a big decision concerning our finances. We plan to save over half of my salary to purchase our next vehicle without a note. If we keep living the way we are now, and just deposit everything else, it should happen within a year. I know that this will be very beneficial to us. Dustin will graduate from bible school in two years, and no matter what God callas us to, we don't want any type of note over our head...plus, it puts us in a good position to buy a house.

Well, that's all for now. I will keep you updated on the progress of my miracle.