Thursday, November 12, 2009

Joshua to Jenna

As I am sure you already know, I had an interview at Central Elementary last Friday! I connected with all of the staff and was one of the few called back to observe at the beginning of this week.  It is exactly the position that I have always wanted.  It is the kind of school that teachers want to retire at, but it also has the demographic of students that I prefer.  To top it off, I feel the position was literally created for me.  It is a new position not a replacement; therefore, I know it my heart God opened it FOR me.  There are crazy similarities between this position and different events that have taken place in my journey to be a teacher.

My student teaching was at a school named Central Elementary.  It was fifth grade math and science.  This school is called Central Elementary and the position is for fifth grade math and science!  I have always requested that my field experiences be placed in higher poverty schools, which is exactly what this is.  I also have the harder to get certifcation in Texas which is something they told me made me stand out above the other applicants.  I feel at home at this school for sure.

Needless to say, my mind has become increasingly anxious.  Throughout the interview process, I had sooo much PEACE.  I believe it was for God to allow me to be myself and to gain the position with confidence.  However, now that the interview process is over, I am like it says in Pslams 139 "For their is not a word on my tongue, but behold, O Lord, You know it altogether." I'm at a loss for words that can describe my inner thoughts, but God knows it perfectly.  How great it is to have a God that "knows my sitting down and rising up, who understands my thoughts afar off, and who is acquainted with all of my ways."

I've also been in deep thought conerning the voice of God in my life.  It isn't as clear as I would like it to be. I feel there is a new wine available, but I must get rid of my old wineskin in order to move on.  I was led to Joshua in the bible, because he was a great leader that had many promises from God.  It was vital for Him to discern direction for God in order to complete the mission that Moses had begun.  It mentions several times in the book of Joshua that God says to him, "Be strong and of good courage, have I not commanded thee?"  God's instruction to Joshua was to meditate on the law day in and day out and to realize that if God has established something, no one can come against it. 

Joshua was charged to go into the land of Canaan and to cross the Jordon; however, he had no supplies for a bridge or any boats!  He was at the end of himself, and, like so many of us today, was in total need of provision.  I see my current situation in this, because I know the charge God has put on my life to teach! Therefore, I must be as Joshua! I receive God's voice telling me, "Be of good courage....Have I not commanded thee?"

Lastly, the commentary points out that when God has established you to move forward in a land depleated of the resources to do it, you must recognize that God's voice for it to be done is a warrant! "Have I not commanded thee" can now be translated into "I will therefore help thee, succeed thee accept thee, reward thee!"  I realize that I am not subject to man, but that man is subject to the warrents God has spoken over me! No man will ever keep His establishments from coming to pass!

I am believing for favor. I am believing "how precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand; When I awake, I am still with You."

So....I will rest in the humbleness of what this situation forces me into, but I will NEVER distrust my God.

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