Inner Thoughts

I have been thinking a great deal lately!... I am always a deep thinker, but I have been especially deep lately.  I've been blessed with the job of my dreams.  During my struggle of finding a teaching job, I always thought in the back of my head, "God could just wave His hand in my direction and have the perfect job for me, so why isn't He?."  Well, He has but in His own timing. I am so thankful to Him. As I began recounting the mountainous steps of faith that led me to this job, I began pondering the things for which I am most gateful.

Of course, I am thankful for the normal things......my husband, health, family etc. However, I am so gateful beyond just what my immediate response seems to be to that topic.  I am grateful that I have endured the journey to this moment. I wouldn't trade the hardship for anything.  I know I have helped others through what I have experienced.  I have a new friend that is going through a hardship in finding the job right for him, and I could immediately see him in the beginning stages of the mistakes I made in doubting my right standing with God.  At the beginning of my job hunt, I just knew I was being punished or that I had somehow failed a test.  I praise God that I was at least able to tell this person that he is not alone and that it was just an opportunity to grow closer to God.

I am so exceedingly blessed to look back on the past year and to not see illness and tragic heartache.  I am so blessed to still have parents alive and madly in love with each other.  I am so blessed to have a support system from family to Teen Challenge to friends to my church. 

I am thankful for everything that has made up this one moment.  I am so grateful to know that I have been God's arms at least a few times to some people that desperately needed the love of God manifested through another believer.  I am so blessed to have been launched into evangelism at such a young age.  I am blessed to have shoes on my feet and hot water.  I am blessed to have known the comfort of God in a new way.

I have realized lately that an individual knows God and His "realness" only to the extent to which he has experienced it.  I can talk all day long about the depth of God, but unless you have had a deep experience, then we are not connecting.  I hate that there are so few ways to usher people in to the real and manifest prescence of God.  It's like when you ask someone what church they are a part of and you know it is spiritually dead or on life support, and they think it is the bomb! It greives my heart that there are not more avenues of true worship to God....true encounters....divine appointments.....

My heart is left empty at the thought of the broken hearted remaining lost, yet extremely overflowing when I can love on just one.