Awakening
Nervously hitting the streets
Wondering what God had planned
I could never imagined the fleet
Oh the uncharted territory beneath my feet
I never imagined little girls and boys
I couldn’t have expected their enormous voids
I knew they were searching
Could I show them the One worth finding?
As I waited and prepared myself
I never imagined what my soul would feel
I saw the pain temporarily disguised
Broken children with pain so real
Awaken oh my soul
There are children needing deliverance
Let them see their heart’s hole
I pray Your love they would unmistakably experience
There was an awakening today
Not only for them but for my soul
God, I know to point them Your way
It’s their only chance to be made whole
Let me not forget the eyes filled with confusion
I want to carry it always
Lest I forget I have the solution
Help me Lord to show them the way
Sunday, October 25, 2009
The Club Awakening
I couldn't wait to blog for today because of all that has happened. This morning, Dustin and I went with a group of people to a local club that has an all night rave. We passed out free water, juice, and Jesus. At first, I was soooo intimidated, because I was never a part of this lifestyle. I guess that I knew about this type of stuff, but I never realized that these were hearts and faces of people God loves.
I couldn't believe my eyes as the people began to pour out. Oncemore, I had a moment to myself where I looked at all the cars parked down the streets and asked myself...."Where is everyone." Where are the radically saved and delivered?.....They were all at this time getting ready to go to church to gather together. I thought to myself how sick it was that the streets were full of the lost but empty of the found. I understand the importance of going to church, etc. Please don't be offended. I just was thinking about the millions that claim to be christians...why is it that all of the people were so shocked to be greeted by a Christian face? Do we not go to Walmart and pass them right up? I am speaking to myself here, too.
A piece of my heart was left at the outside of that club. I will never be the same. I saw girl with their entire backside exposed...not to mention all of the other parts. I saw girls that looked fifteen that were being exploited by young men. I also saw the pain in the faces. I saw confusion, heartache, and a void. I saw broken-hearted little boys and frightened little girls on the inside of the hard shell of an exterior. I couldn't get over the anger and pain that flooded my heart. I will never forget the feeling that came through their eyes.
I had the privledge to pray for entire car loads of people. I prayed that a woman's money would be return after it was stolen. I prayed for their safety in traveling home. I prayed.....in my heart during each prayer, my heart was pleading for God's saving mercies as the requests came out to God for what they had asked. After each request was lifted to God, I prayed that when their prayer was answered that they would know where the answer came from and that glory would be brought to Jesus. I also asked for special strength and a demonstration of love as they left.
I couldn't even begin to stroke my ego as I felt the kingdom thrusting me towards them. It felt more like a reasonable duty than an outreach. The word outreach doesn't do it for me. I feel that outpouring is more suitable, because my heart and soul was poured out into the struggles I saw them facing.
There was a girl that told me that she had been praying that God would show her another way to live. She will soon be my friend on facebook, and I hope that her and at least two other girls will come to One Voice with me on Saturday nights.
I know in my heart that countless seeds were planted. There was a man that specifically touched me. He was a business man in a suit. He looked life a typical father and husband. His head hung low as would a dog's after being scolded. There was one guy that is about to turn himself in for countless charges including armed robbery. He began to argue philosophy, but then began to see the light. As Dustin was talking with him, you could see the drugs wearing off as reality was hitting him.
I can't begin to express what this did for me today.
I will be posting more on this experience.
I couldn't believe my eyes as the people began to pour out. Oncemore, I had a moment to myself where I looked at all the cars parked down the streets and asked myself...."Where is everyone." Where are the radically saved and delivered?.....They were all at this time getting ready to go to church to gather together. I thought to myself how sick it was that the streets were full of the lost but empty of the found. I understand the importance of going to church, etc. Please don't be offended. I just was thinking about the millions that claim to be christians...why is it that all of the people were so shocked to be greeted by a Christian face? Do we not go to Walmart and pass them right up? I am speaking to myself here, too.
A piece of my heart was left at the outside of that club. I will never be the same. I saw girl with their entire backside exposed...not to mention all of the other parts. I saw girls that looked fifteen that were being exploited by young men. I also saw the pain in the faces. I saw confusion, heartache, and a void. I saw broken-hearted little boys and frightened little girls on the inside of the hard shell of an exterior. I couldn't get over the anger and pain that flooded my heart. I will never forget the feeling that came through their eyes.
I had the privledge to pray for entire car loads of people. I prayed that a woman's money would be return after it was stolen. I prayed for their safety in traveling home. I prayed.....in my heart during each prayer, my heart was pleading for God's saving mercies as the requests came out to God for what they had asked. After each request was lifted to God, I prayed that when their prayer was answered that they would know where the answer came from and that glory would be brought to Jesus. I also asked for special strength and a demonstration of love as they left.
I couldn't even begin to stroke my ego as I felt the kingdom thrusting me towards them. It felt more like a reasonable duty than an outreach. The word outreach doesn't do it for me. I feel that outpouring is more suitable, because my heart and soul was poured out into the struggles I saw them facing.
There was a girl that told me that she had been praying that God would show her another way to live. She will soon be my friend on facebook, and I hope that her and at least two other girls will come to One Voice with me on Saturday nights.
I know in my heart that countless seeds were planted. There was a man that specifically touched me. He was a business man in a suit. He looked life a typical father and husband. His head hung low as would a dog's after being scolded. There was one guy that is about to turn himself in for countless charges including armed robbery. He began to argue philosophy, but then began to see the light. As Dustin was talking with him, you could see the drugs wearing off as reality was hitting him.
I can't begin to express what this did for me today.
I will be posting more on this experience.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Failure vs. Victory
Lately, I have come to realize that success doesn't come with an arrival to a set destination. Most people think of similar things when it comes to success......a nice home, a great deal of money, a fabulous job...etc. However, I've come to grips that as a child of God, He establishes what my failures and victories are. If I have what seems to be an excellent job, it may be my failure. I think about the man Pastor Steve Hill talked about. He gave thousands to the church and was asked why..? The man replied that before he became a wealthy business man, God told him to sell everything and go to the mission field. That man did not obey and established great wealth in business. Most people would have admired his financial status..... Well, it's just not that simple. His millions represented his lack of obedience and what is failure in the eyes of God. That man is now on the mission field- Glory to God.
The other day, I realized that I was in the same exact boat with someone I know that is going through an enormous trial...although I consider it a blessing. I was thinking about what the same situation means to different people in different circumstances. I obtain the same thing that person considers with great difficulty. Therefore, I was reminded of the imp0rtance of not looking at what someone else has compared to what I have. Comparing yourself to that of another is just plain faulty. You have done a great disservice. You then have this idea that happiness lies within what others have..such as money. What I am longing for may be a symbol of someone else's disobedience to God. The grass is not always greener on the other side.
I am encouraged to know that the path God has laid out for me is special and unique. No one's accomplishments, no matter how similar or different they are to mine, will ever compare to the meaning that my accomplishments have to God and myself.
The other day, I realized that I was in the same exact boat with someone I know that is going through an enormous trial...although I consider it a blessing. I was thinking about what the same situation means to different people in different circumstances. I obtain the same thing that person considers with great difficulty. Therefore, I was reminded of the imp0rtance of not looking at what someone else has compared to what I have. Comparing yourself to that of another is just plain faulty. You have done a great disservice. You then have this idea that happiness lies within what others have..such as money. What I am longing for may be a symbol of someone else's disobedience to God. The grass is not always greener on the other side.
I am encouraged to know that the path God has laid out for me is special and unique. No one's accomplishments, no matter how similar or different they are to mine, will ever compare to the meaning that my accomplishments have to God and myself.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
All I am is You
I was sitting at the computer, and before I knew it I was singing "All I am is You." I have never heard that as a song before, and knew the Holy Spirit was coming out of me and declaring righteousness over me. I think this is the beauty of being spirit-filled.....to be meditating on the Lord and then for the Holy Spirit to wipe over you. It gives me supernatural understanding, perspective, and strength. There is nothing better than a refreshing through the Holy Spirit. I know the words of my blog will not do what I felt justice, but I try in hopes of revealing God through a different perspective.
To me, these words meant that all I am is Him, because when I am completely surrendured to Him I am nothing but a part of Him. When all my sin and the uncleanliness of my heart has been washed clean, I am just an extension of God Himself. I am so encouraged to know that I do not just belong to Him....but that I am actually in Him and of Him. I feel such an embrace and a belonging.
I have been going through a season of self-condemnation because I am not doing exactly what I had pictured. My best friend, Dustin, helped me through it. I always think that I have everything figured out...WRONG. Three months ago, if you had asked me about my job situation....I would have told you that what I am doing now would be too good to be true. Now that I am seeing results and that it is not too good to be true, I feel that I have to condemn myself for not being something else. I know it doesn't make sense. Now that I actually have something that I've only dreamt about, I fall into doubt...etc. It has taught me even more that God always knows what we can handle. This experience has really taught me to not dwell on what I don't have, but to meditate with gratefullness for what I do have. I realize that the richest people in the world would give up everything for a piece of what I have. I have a great marriage to my best friend, a great family (on both sides), and peace when I go to lay down at night. In the stillness, I know that He is God and I have no infirmities or worries. What more could I possibly ask for? I'm just in awe of my Savior and His provision. He WAS and IS and IS TO COME!
To me, these words meant that all I am is Him, because when I am completely surrendured to Him I am nothing but a part of Him. When all my sin and the uncleanliness of my heart has been washed clean, I am just an extension of God Himself. I am so encouraged to know that I do not just belong to Him....but that I am actually in Him and of Him. I feel such an embrace and a belonging.
I have been going through a season of self-condemnation because I am not doing exactly what I had pictured. My best friend, Dustin, helped me through it. I always think that I have everything figured out...WRONG. Three months ago, if you had asked me about my job situation....I would have told you that what I am doing now would be too good to be true. Now that I am seeing results and that it is not too good to be true, I feel that I have to condemn myself for not being something else. I know it doesn't make sense. Now that I actually have something that I've only dreamt about, I fall into doubt...etc. It has taught me even more that God always knows what we can handle. This experience has really taught me to not dwell on what I don't have, but to meditate with gratefullness for what I do have. I realize that the richest people in the world would give up everything for a piece of what I have. I have a great marriage to my best friend, a great family (on both sides), and peace when I go to lay down at night. In the stillness, I know that He is God and I have no infirmities or worries. What more could I possibly ask for? I'm just in awe of my Savior and His provision. He WAS and IS and IS TO COME!
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