I have come to a place in my life where I find rest. I'm certainly not meaning physical rest because being a mother of two girls under the age of two is well, CHALLENGING. I'm referring to a place where my spirit begins to find direction. It's a place where I feel like I have been on a Tilt-A-Whirl and have begun to get a feel for the ground and stabillity again! It feels NICE!
I'm beginning to find that my identity really is something beautiful and doesn't require me to pour out like I had originally thought. I believed that in order for me to be of worth, I must be DOING DOING DOING....that somehow I would hear God more and look more presentable to Him if I had my hands in stuff. I've always had this image of ministry and platforms when it came to my calling. I'm so glad that I've gone through so much these past few years to find myself right here, right now. If you would have asked me two years ago what I wanted to do, I would have given you a long that included counseling and deliverance ministry. Today, I can say that what I want from life is to just be a pleasure to be around...to be someone that is beneficial to know. I want my inner circle of people to see the fire of God in my eyes and to hear joy in my laugh.
I hope that as I start to blog again, that I am able to send forth messages of encouragement for both you and me! I find that my relationship with the Father has become something sweet and blissful...I find that just about everyone I come in contact with is a well-intentioned person seeking goodness. I want to honor you in my words and reflect love to you. I'm not afraid of what lies ahead as I become volnerable once again. I've seen what happens when godly people erect walls in response to hurt and offense. The truth is that no one has control over someone else. Jesus is my source for love and acceptance so I find a new bravery to love without restraint.
Sometimes I sit in my tub with my head against the wall trying to figure out what's the most important thing that I need to ask God for at that time because I'm so wiped out and drained mentally that I could never fully request all that I need. I think of friends that need prayer. I think of people that are desperate and my beautiful daughters that have their entire lives ahead of them...so what do I ask?? How do I prioritize this mountain of needs so that this ten minutes of solitude can be fruitful?.. The answer is for me just to look up. I need to look up to my Father and ask for my manna for today. God is where my help comes from. He knows everything. What's going on is I need to sit back, rest in His love and seek His face to be more like Him. He is love, and afterall, He has endured it all.
I've heard that when you take care of God's business, He takes care of your business. Well, this may be true, but I know that His perfect plan is for us to yield to Him personally. I forsake the mentality that I must do in order for Him to act on my behalf. As I wind this post down, I pray for each reader (probably like three people..haha) to find a place of rest...a place of trust with the Father.
I sense God asking, "Do you need help?...Look to me, you will find it." I pray, in the name of Jesus, that each of us find the face of our Father in our time of need. Whether it be help in finances or just to be a better mom and wife, I ask that we find our way by seeking Him first. I ask that we phsyically feel a release of power and strength as we open our hands and hearts to just let go and trust. I'm so thankful for all that has been made available to us through Jesus.
Colossians 1:19-20 - For it pleased the Father that in Him all the fullness should dwell, and by Him to reconcile all things to Himself, by Him, whether things on earth or things in heaven, having made peace through the blood of His cross.
Psalms 37:40 - And the Lord shall help them and deliver them; He shall deliver them from the wicked, and save them, because they trust in Him.
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