I know I will look back on this season of my life and see God all over it. I'm still just too close to all that has happened to really see the full fruit that has come from it. I had someone call me today and encourage me and pray for me. Through her prayer, I realized just how much I don't give myself credit. I sacrifice so much to raise my baby at home and to be a homemaker for my husband. The world seems to continuously harass me with the thought that my family is suffering because I haven't made sufficient plans.
John Piper's status update on facebook the other day has stuck with me during this time. He said, "Grant me faith, O Lord, in all my calamities, never to count you as my enemy." I have such trouble realizing that God isn't mad at me. I'm far too critical of myself and daily have to remind myself that my relationship with God isn't based on my works. Afterall, we have all fallen short. We all deserve hell.
I am continuously learning more and more about being a mom and wife. We have been studying the book, The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace at my church. This book has been great so far.
As I continue to use every ounce of my faith just to stand each day, I feel hope when I remind myself of my dreams. Hope deferred makes the heart sick. I have really felt my heart become sick more times than I can count.
DREAMS:
-To be an excellent wife and mother...to create and maintain a safe place for my family. I want to be my husband's cheerleader. I want my life to remind him of the promises God has spoken to him.
-To be in connection with godly people through church and personal relationships that encourage me, challenge me, and understand the path I have chosen and to play that role for them as well.
-To write and pray..two things I specifically feel that I have a gifting for.
-To walk beside my husband as he becomes the pastor I know he is called to be someday.
Here are a few pictures that keep my world straight in the hardest times of my life.
