Father,
Did you see what he did and said about me? He was full of accusation and spite. Does it matter that I did everything to make it right and to remain objective? Persecution seems to follow me and hides behind every corner. Is this what our sinful nature makes of us? For I was technically a part of the crowd that condemned you and crucified your Son.
What did Jesus do?.....He prayed for them and made a way for them to escape eternal damnation. But that was Him and this is me. This guy wronged me and discredited my name. I can't just let him get away with it, can I?....
OK, this heart of stone I submit under the workings of the cross, trusting You will make it a heart of flesh...sensitive to my brother's current condition.
I imagine through this somehow my heart will connect with Your heart, just as Jesus' did.
I realize this isn't taking the high road....It is, in fact, a low road paved with the discomfort of self-sacrifice and self-denial! It isn't comfortable or convenient, but through Your infinite graces, I know it leads to the BEST destination.
Vindication belongs to You, my Father, who takes great care of his kids.
-Amen
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Friday, March 2, 2012
VENTING
Sometimes, I think my mind is just going to explode. I just told a friend that for the first time in my life, I actually understand why people turn to drugs. There have been days that do everything except just overtake my body.
Today, we finally received great news about Dustin's job situation. He is officially an employee at Chase. He will have awesome benefits and almost unlimited growth potential. Wouldn't you know it, a leasing agent from my apartment complex corners me at the stairs and starts to yell at me. She said, "YOU AGAIN?!" I really couldn't believe what was happening. My dogs were out and not on a leash, but I have never received previous warning or anything of that nature. Not to mention, I live in the BACK of the complex with very little activity AND I had an infant and diaper bag on my hip. I mean, really?
Sometimes, I wonder if there is a target on my forehead. Sometimes, I wonder if God is trying to refine my character or trying to train me for something. Sometimes, I just want to throw my hands up on having any hope at all on the human race.
Many of you know what I have been going through, which only compounds the episode that I experienced today.
I keep trying to tell myself that we had great news today..we had an excellent time with friends..and I have a wonderful family. I am grateful for the good in my life.
I wonder if it is okay that I slowly begin to chat less and less to the clerks at Starbucks and suddenly look down passing a stranger rather than speak to them.? I wonder if anyone has any moral fiber anymore. I wonder what it is that I will do next that will cause someone else to pounce on me. I wonder if this heightened sensitivity will last forever. I wonder if I could really feel relief if I went through the PAIN of just expressing all of this to God.? I also wonder if the outgoing and bubbly "Jenna" will ever come back.? Is this part of growing up?.
Well, here I am venting out things that I feel can really only come out through writing. Thanks for being there. Whether it is just me who reads this or others that can possibly relate and feel an ounce of gratitude that he/she may not be the only one experiencing frustration.
So..at the end of this, I know ONE thing that I want. I want to know how to stand up for myself the right way. I'm tired of being the one everyone knows they can get something from. My message is this....I AM NOT YOUR DOORMAT....I AM NOT YOUR OUTLET FOR YOUR BAD DAY....I AM NOT GONNA PUT UP WITH GAMES AND SILLINESS - SHOOT IT STRAIGHT OR MOVE ON.
Today, we finally received great news about Dustin's job situation. He is officially an employee at Chase. He will have awesome benefits and almost unlimited growth potential. Wouldn't you know it, a leasing agent from my apartment complex corners me at the stairs and starts to yell at me. She said, "YOU AGAIN?!" I really couldn't believe what was happening. My dogs were out and not on a leash, but I have never received previous warning or anything of that nature. Not to mention, I live in the BACK of the complex with very little activity AND I had an infant and diaper bag on my hip. I mean, really?
Sometimes, I wonder if there is a target on my forehead. Sometimes, I wonder if God is trying to refine my character or trying to train me for something. Sometimes, I just want to throw my hands up on having any hope at all on the human race.
Many of you know what I have been going through, which only compounds the episode that I experienced today.
I keep trying to tell myself that we had great news today..we had an excellent time with friends..and I have a wonderful family. I am grateful for the good in my life.
I wonder if it is okay that I slowly begin to chat less and less to the clerks at Starbucks and suddenly look down passing a stranger rather than speak to them.? I wonder if anyone has any moral fiber anymore. I wonder what it is that I will do next that will cause someone else to pounce on me. I wonder if this heightened sensitivity will last forever. I wonder if I could really feel relief if I went through the PAIN of just expressing all of this to God.? I also wonder if the outgoing and bubbly "Jenna" will ever come back.? Is this part of growing up?.
Well, here I am venting out things that I feel can really only come out through writing. Thanks for being there. Whether it is just me who reads this or others that can possibly relate and feel an ounce of gratitude that he/she may not be the only one experiencing frustration.
So..at the end of this, I know ONE thing that I want. I want to know how to stand up for myself the right way. I'm tired of being the one everyone knows they can get something from. My message is this....I AM NOT YOUR DOORMAT....I AM NOT YOUR OUTLET FOR YOUR BAD DAY....I AM NOT GONNA PUT UP WITH GAMES AND SILLINESS - SHOOT IT STRAIGHT OR MOVE ON.
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Randomness
It has been so long since my last blog. I really should do this more often. It has been on of those seasons of my life that have been marked with pain and a desperate search for understanding. I have learned so much during this time; yet, I find myself even more aware of how much I remain completely clueless.
I know I will look back on this season of my life and see God all over it. I'm still just too close to all that has happened to really see the full fruit that has come from it. I had someone call me today and encourage me and pray for me. Through her prayer, I realized just how much I don't give myself credit. I sacrifice so much to raise my baby at home and to be a homemaker for my husband. The world seems to continuously harass me with the thought that my family is suffering because I haven't made sufficient plans.
John Piper's status update on facebook the other day has stuck with me during this time. He said, "Grant me faith, O Lord, in all my calamities, never to count you as my enemy." I have such trouble realizing that God isn't mad at me. I'm far too critical of myself and daily have to remind myself that my relationship with God isn't based on my works. Afterall, we have all fallen short. We all deserve hell.
I know I will look back on this season of my life and see God all over it. I'm still just too close to all that has happened to really see the full fruit that has come from it. I had someone call me today and encourage me and pray for me. Through her prayer, I realized just how much I don't give myself credit. I sacrifice so much to raise my baby at home and to be a homemaker for my husband. The world seems to continuously harass me with the thought that my family is suffering because I haven't made sufficient plans.
John Piper's status update on facebook the other day has stuck with me during this time. He said, "Grant me faith, O Lord, in all my calamities, never to count you as my enemy." I have such trouble realizing that God isn't mad at me. I'm far too critical of myself and daily have to remind myself that my relationship with God isn't based on my works. Afterall, we have all fallen short. We all deserve hell.
I am continuously learning more and more about being a mom and wife. We have been studying the book, The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace at my church. This book has been great so far.
As I continue to use every ounce of my faith just to stand each day, I feel hope when I remind myself of my dreams. Hope deferred makes the heart sick. I have really felt my heart become sick more times than I can count.
DREAMS:
-To be an excellent wife and mother...to create and maintain a safe place for my family. I want to be my husband's cheerleader. I want my life to remind him of the promises God has spoken to him.
-To be in connection with godly people through church and personal relationships that encourage me, challenge me, and understand the path I have chosen and to play that role for them as well.
-To write and pray..two things I specifically feel that I have a gifting for.
-To walk beside my husband as he becomes the pastor I know he is called to be someday.
Here are a few pictures that keep my world straight in the hardest times of my life.
Friday, October 7, 2011
Rest
It's absolutely insane what my body and spirit have experienced within the last week. I've experienced such joy and brokenness within this period of time. I battle with writing this out, because I honestly don't know what this post will even look like at the end.
I've experienced my husband finally finding the right path to take in ministry. He is beyond equipped and called into evangelism. God told me I would marry an evangelist at YOUTH camp many years ago. When I met Dustin, he began telling me more about himself through his calling to be an evangelist. It's a miracle that we are right at the "welcome mat" of this arena of ministry considering we both had no idea what evangelism really meant. It was one of those things God had to tell you to do because only He knew what you would be and become years later.
Just for us to get to this place in our lives, we have dealt with disappointment and regret and doubt along with many other things. I've had to give up on opportunities that would have catapulted me into an area of ministry that I enjoy very much. I've had to deal with the fact that I will no longer be as much of a part in people's lives that have meant the WORLD to me. I've gone through territory that I never thought I would be in, such as giving up my career and being a full time mom. Every day, I learn what this means and how much I have to learn. God continues to trim off the fatty edges of my life....and it is most of the time so close to the meat of who I am that I gasp for air as I feel the control of my own life slipping through my fingers. I'm often underestimated or misunderstood for my convictions that are more often than not too much for people to understand.
I'm sure the previous paragraph is choppy and all over the place, but as I write, I consistently see an image of young woman being prepared as though time is not on her side. So often, I want the preparation and grooming roles to be MINE. Where would I be if I were in charge? Where would any of us be if we decided to cut our own hair or diagnose our own bodies? Sometimes, I'm running around like a crazy woman when I should just sit down in the chair and let God groom me. I want to sit in HIS chair. I want to look like what he wants me to look like. The beauty of this is that His finished product of me will always be the best.
So as much pain and separation I've had to endure, I'm okay sitting in Papa's chair. His chair is FOR my good. I have a promise to cling to when EVERYTHING else slips through my fingers. The answers to my prayers aren't as important as I thought they were before. The greatest prayer concerns we could ever have are ALREADY answered. My name is in THE book. His promises to me are to prosper me and He takes care of me and knows the number of hairs on my head. I've never gone hungry or begged for bread. His love has taken me to depths this body will never comprehend. He saved me....so, I'll THANK him when my soul is weary and tired and my brain hurts from analyzing possible missed opportunities and relationships.
I'm standing in my faith and leaning on Jesus.
I've experienced my husband finally finding the right path to take in ministry. He is beyond equipped and called into evangelism. God told me I would marry an evangelist at YOUTH camp many years ago. When I met Dustin, he began telling me more about himself through his calling to be an evangelist. It's a miracle that we are right at the "welcome mat" of this arena of ministry considering we both had no idea what evangelism really meant. It was one of those things God had to tell you to do because only He knew what you would be and become years later.
Just for us to get to this place in our lives, we have dealt with disappointment and regret and doubt along with many other things. I've had to give up on opportunities that would have catapulted me into an area of ministry that I enjoy very much. I've had to deal with the fact that I will no longer be as much of a part in people's lives that have meant the WORLD to me. I've gone through territory that I never thought I would be in, such as giving up my career and being a full time mom. Every day, I learn what this means and how much I have to learn. God continues to trim off the fatty edges of my life....and it is most of the time so close to the meat of who I am that I gasp for air as I feel the control of my own life slipping through my fingers. I'm often underestimated or misunderstood for my convictions that are more often than not too much for people to understand.
I'm sure the previous paragraph is choppy and all over the place, but as I write, I consistently see an image of young woman being prepared as though time is not on her side. So often, I want the preparation and grooming roles to be MINE. Where would I be if I were in charge? Where would any of us be if we decided to cut our own hair or diagnose our own bodies? Sometimes, I'm running around like a crazy woman when I should just sit down in the chair and let God groom me. I want to sit in HIS chair. I want to look like what he wants me to look like. The beauty of this is that His finished product of me will always be the best.
So as much pain and separation I've had to endure, I'm okay sitting in Papa's chair. His chair is FOR my good. I have a promise to cling to when EVERYTHING else slips through my fingers. The answers to my prayers aren't as important as I thought they were before. The greatest prayer concerns we could ever have are ALREADY answered. My name is in THE book. His promises to me are to prosper me and He takes care of me and knows the number of hairs on my head. I've never gone hungry or begged for bread. His love has taken me to depths this body will never comprehend. He saved me....so, I'll THANK him when my soul is weary and tired and my brain hurts from analyzing possible missed opportunities and relationships.
I'm standing in my faith and leaning on Jesus.
Monday, September 19, 2011
CANCER
It's been such a long time since I have had the time and/or the energy to blog. I can hardly remember what life was like before having Kindle Elisabeth! Anywho, I have something flaming on the inside of me that has to get out.
The other night, I walked outside on my patio to watch a lightning storm. It was so beautiful! While I was outside, God began breaking me for each of the women that I have come across that have cancer. These precious women have been reached through the ministry that I am involved with called The White Rose Movement. If you aren't a fan of their page on facebook, I highly recommend it.
Anyways, God began putting these courageous women on my heart. As I began praying against this devastating disease, God began to show me that there is a cancer that is more widespread and even deadlier than the kind these women are facing. I have neighbors and loved ones that have this cancer in their spirit. There is a disease spreading with each passing moment and most people who have it are not even aware or diagnosed. This type of cancer is WILLFUL separation from God. Willful separation spreads through the soul and devours a person from the inside out....eternally.
After God began to show me His view of this, my burden for these women was a little lighter as God has become their Savior. What can man or disease do to a soul that will have an eternal reward with Jesus. Don't get me wrong, I am not underestimating that severity of cancer of the body.
My point is that I walked outside to find a burden for these ladies battling a disease of the body. I walked inside with a burden for countless people being consumed by a disease of the soul. The true tragedy here is that there is a cure for the second condition. His name is Jesus and He is passionately awaiting them as His touch can make them whole. If God can save a soul through His son, isn't that the greatest healing of all?...Then why do I find myself so faithLESS sometimes when it comes to healing for those battling an illness?
I still pray for these beautiful women as they face the battle of their earthly lives. They continue to follow Jesus and have such a hopeful outlook on the future. Please pray for them as you feel lead.
Thank you for hearing my heart tonight.
The other night, I walked outside on my patio to watch a lightning storm. It was so beautiful! While I was outside, God began breaking me for each of the women that I have come across that have cancer. These precious women have been reached through the ministry that I am involved with called The White Rose Movement. If you aren't a fan of their page on facebook, I highly recommend it.
Anyways, God began putting these courageous women on my heart. As I began praying against this devastating disease, God began to show me that there is a cancer that is more widespread and even deadlier than the kind these women are facing. I have neighbors and loved ones that have this cancer in their spirit. There is a disease spreading with each passing moment and most people who have it are not even aware or diagnosed. This type of cancer is WILLFUL separation from God. Willful separation spreads through the soul and devours a person from the inside out....eternally.
After God began to show me His view of this, my burden for these women was a little lighter as God has become their Savior. What can man or disease do to a soul that will have an eternal reward with Jesus. Don't get me wrong, I am not underestimating that severity of cancer of the body.
My point is that I walked outside to find a burden for these ladies battling a disease of the body. I walked inside with a burden for countless people being consumed by a disease of the soul. The true tragedy here is that there is a cure for the second condition. His name is Jesus and He is passionately awaiting them as His touch can make them whole. If God can save a soul through His son, isn't that the greatest healing of all?...Then why do I find myself so faithLESS sometimes when it comes to healing for those battling an illness?
I still pray for these beautiful women as they face the battle of their earthly lives. They continue to follow Jesus and have such a hopeful outlook on the future. Please pray for them as you feel lead.
Thank you for hearing my heart tonight.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Behind the Scenes
I'm low on inspiration; however, I am full of many other things! I am updating the blog to just let go of all the words trapped in my head and heart. Sometimes, the greatest statements I make come AFTER I begin to put them on paper.
It's been a very difficult road for about the past couple of months. Each day is full of pain and discomfort to a very high degree. I know I have grown in the area of pain and discomfort, because I don't necessarily see this as altogether a bad thing. I know there will be endless rewards and unimaginative surprises at the end of this journey. It's funny to me that I can get around a few people and turn into Wonder Woman....only to end the afternoon crying my eyes out and in intense pain.
The pain in this pregnancy has literally been the worst pain I have had in my entire life! It's difficult to say and admit sometimes that my days are just ROUGH! It's like a sting in my soul each time a coworker asks me how I'm doing. If you know me at all, you know I'm not gonna put on a mask and say, "wonderful!." Why does it feel so bad sometimes to just say that your day/week is stinky? Perhaps, I have been a part of a worldly movement that pushes raw and unpleasant emotion to the side for the sake of being likable to others. Come to think of it, I'd like for more people to be transparent about things that seem to overtake the good in life...I'd love to be made aware of the needs of the people around me.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it's okay to be a "Debbie Downer." I'm just saying that I'd like to create an environment for the people around me, no matter the depth of our relationship, to feel comfortable enough to admit troubles. My doctor hugged me today and I laid my head on his shoulder. He gave me a few words of affirmation. That is all he did, and you know what?.....It touched me to the core to have a caring embrace without having to listen to advice, etc.
Maybe, I am just a sensitive person. Maybe you say this is too close for comfort. Maybe, it would be a better place with less depression and oppression if we felt like we could be real in the small moments when we pass each other at work, in the grocery store, and at church. Don't you sometimes just get tired of passing people in hallways only to say, "hi, how are you," only to get back a "great, how are you?" I mean really...we don't even slow down because we have become that predictable in "politely" keeping our troubles quiet. I'd rather pass someone and just start telling them hello or pay them a quick compliment.
I want to be a hug when someone needs it. I want to be an ear with loving eyes when someone doesn't need a similar story or advice. I want to be the voice of prayer when someone is at a loss for words. I want those around me to feel swaddled when they feel so exposed to the world that their whole existence is callused and hard. I want the world to be a better place. Perhaps, in this place, people will see and experience the love of God. I imagine this to be a blissful place.
One thing I have found so freeing is to just be myself. I've grown up believing that I need to filter EVERYTHING I say and do....lest it come back around to bite me. Lately, I've been saying and doing what comes naturally from Jenna. It's working out great. This is something my husband models almost with perfection. It may sometimes be easy to find small areas of correction, but his heart is always open and his thoughts are always truly felt. The beauty of this is that when you see the areas in his life that are super great, they REALLY ARE SUPER GREAT because everything that leaks out of him is truly felt. I just love him. :)
It's been a very difficult road for about the past couple of months. Each day is full of pain and discomfort to a very high degree. I know I have grown in the area of pain and discomfort, because I don't necessarily see this as altogether a bad thing. I know there will be endless rewards and unimaginative surprises at the end of this journey. It's funny to me that I can get around a few people and turn into Wonder Woman....only to end the afternoon crying my eyes out and in intense pain.
The pain in this pregnancy has literally been the worst pain I have had in my entire life! It's difficult to say and admit sometimes that my days are just ROUGH! It's like a sting in my soul each time a coworker asks me how I'm doing. If you know me at all, you know I'm not gonna put on a mask and say, "wonderful!." Why does it feel so bad sometimes to just say that your day/week is stinky? Perhaps, I have been a part of a worldly movement that pushes raw and unpleasant emotion to the side for the sake of being likable to others. Come to think of it, I'd like for more people to be transparent about things that seem to overtake the good in life...I'd love to be made aware of the needs of the people around me.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it's okay to be a "Debbie Downer." I'm just saying that I'd like to create an environment for the people around me, no matter the depth of our relationship, to feel comfortable enough to admit troubles. My doctor hugged me today and I laid my head on his shoulder. He gave me a few words of affirmation. That is all he did, and you know what?.....It touched me to the core to have a caring embrace without having to listen to advice, etc.
Maybe, I am just a sensitive person. Maybe you say this is too close for comfort. Maybe, it would be a better place with less depression and oppression if we felt like we could be real in the small moments when we pass each other at work, in the grocery store, and at church. Don't you sometimes just get tired of passing people in hallways only to say, "hi, how are you," only to get back a "great, how are you?" I mean really...we don't even slow down because we have become that predictable in "politely" keeping our troubles quiet. I'd rather pass someone and just start telling them hello or pay them a quick compliment.
I want to be a hug when someone needs it. I want to be an ear with loving eyes when someone doesn't need a similar story or advice. I want to be the voice of prayer when someone is at a loss for words. I want those around me to feel swaddled when they feel so exposed to the world that their whole existence is callused and hard. I want the world to be a better place. Perhaps, in this place, people will see and experience the love of God. I imagine this to be a blissful place.
One thing I have found so freeing is to just be myself. I've grown up believing that I need to filter EVERYTHING I say and do....lest it come back around to bite me. Lately, I've been saying and doing what comes naturally from Jenna. It's working out great. This is something my husband models almost with perfection. It may sometimes be easy to find small areas of correction, but his heart is always open and his thoughts are always truly felt. The beauty of this is that when you see the areas in his life that are super great, they REALLY ARE SUPER GREAT because everything that leaks out of him is truly felt. I just love him. :)
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Faithfulness
"A faith that does not result in faithfulness is fraudulent."
That's a pretty nice beginner, eh? I have been bombarded with a message of faith and success and how closely they are related within the past week. Radio preaching, personal time, instant access on faith scriptures as my bible swings open to the exact page God wants me to read. His word is really nothing short of letters to me. Isn't that beautiful?
I was just thinking about how beautiful is the life lead in faith. All of the things I treasure most has been found through intimate persuit of God. I was in search of a fresh word on the front right side of my home church sanctuary....I found direction to Master's Commission that was vital to my spiritual walk. I was in search of God through a bible study...found my husband there. I was in search of God's face in a worship service after seeking knowledge of spiritual warfare through Rebecca Greenwood....I found Kindle Elisabeth through my ears and eyes as direction that confirmed what He spoke years earlier. I have always received as much of God as I have persued....always! I want more.
As I was in my quiet time, I could hear the Holy Spirit saying, "The Father is looking for faithfulness." I believe we are in a day that the Lord is literally searching and looking for a heart that is FULLY His.
I would say that we are in a land and a time that is much like what Jeremiah saw: "Road through the streets of Jerusalem. Look and take note; search in her squares. If you find a single person, anyONE who acts justly, who seeks to be FAITHFUL, then I will forgive her." This is amazing to me! I believe this is a word for TODAY.
There are so many lies out there to flatter us into thinking that a faithful life abides in good intentions and a positive moral attitude. It's time to understand what God is searching for and what He wants to find in me. Jeremiah 4 lets me know that a life/land is blessed or cursed based on the statement, "if you...." That's me!...not God. His will is blessing. He's not sitting up there waving a rod of immaculate intervention to turn some sorrows into good. He's passionately waiting to find a heart that is faithful. That's all.
Jeremiah 4 - "If you return to Me, if YOU remove your destestible idols from my Prescence and do not waver, if YOU swear, as the Lord lives, in truth, in justice and in righteousness, then the nations(me) will be blessed by Him and will pride themselves in Him."
I just marvel at the beauty that I will pride myself in what He will do when He finds those qualities that truely define faithfulness.
Who can be found faithful in heart, thoughts, money, persuits, relationships, battles, victories?...I desperately wanna be! I wanna be found on a mission field or in a van full of criminals or in a brothel full of women seeking love or in my living room fostering the gifts within my sweet daughter, Kindle. I wanna be found with the discipline to see beyond a rough moment to recognize that a life of faithfulness will result in eternal significance. We always seem to be aware when people are watching us, I wanna wake up with the reality each morning that God is watching...I want Him to take delight in me. I want Him to be blessed by me. I yearn for His heart to be captivated by my life. I long for Him to know that my life is a place where He can come and release Himself.
I love that all this talk of faithfulness is just that....believing what I cannot see....a life full of faith. I believe in all these things lie true success. So long luke warmness with good intentions and a fake smile.
That's a pretty nice beginner, eh? I have been bombarded with a message of faith and success and how closely they are related within the past week. Radio preaching, personal time, instant access on faith scriptures as my bible swings open to the exact page God wants me to read. His word is really nothing short of letters to me. Isn't that beautiful?
I was just thinking about how beautiful is the life lead in faith. All of the things I treasure most has been found through intimate persuit of God. I was in search of a fresh word on the front right side of my home church sanctuary....I found direction to Master's Commission that was vital to my spiritual walk. I was in search of God through a bible study...found my husband there. I was in search of God's face in a worship service after seeking knowledge of spiritual warfare through Rebecca Greenwood....I found Kindle Elisabeth through my ears and eyes as direction that confirmed what He spoke years earlier. I have always received as much of God as I have persued....always! I want more.
As I was in my quiet time, I could hear the Holy Spirit saying, "The Father is looking for faithfulness." I believe we are in a day that the Lord is literally searching and looking for a heart that is FULLY His.
I would say that we are in a land and a time that is much like what Jeremiah saw: "Road through the streets of Jerusalem. Look and take note; search in her squares. If you find a single person, anyONE who acts justly, who seeks to be FAITHFUL, then I will forgive her." This is amazing to me! I believe this is a word for TODAY.
There are so many lies out there to flatter us into thinking that a faithful life abides in good intentions and a positive moral attitude. It's time to understand what God is searching for and what He wants to find in me. Jeremiah 4 lets me know that a life/land is blessed or cursed based on the statement, "if you...." That's me!...not God. His will is blessing. He's not sitting up there waving a rod of immaculate intervention to turn some sorrows into good. He's passionately waiting to find a heart that is faithful. That's all.
Jeremiah 4 - "If you return to Me, if YOU remove your destestible idols from my Prescence and do not waver, if YOU swear, as the Lord lives, in truth, in justice and in righteousness, then the nations(me) will be blessed by Him and will pride themselves in Him."
I just marvel at the beauty that I will pride myself in what He will do when He finds those qualities that truely define faithfulness.
Who can be found faithful in heart, thoughts, money, persuits, relationships, battles, victories?...I desperately wanna be! I wanna be found on a mission field or in a van full of criminals or in a brothel full of women seeking love or in my living room fostering the gifts within my sweet daughter, Kindle. I wanna be found with the discipline to see beyond a rough moment to recognize that a life of faithfulness will result in eternal significance. We always seem to be aware when people are watching us, I wanna wake up with the reality each morning that God is watching...I want Him to take delight in me. I want Him to be blessed by me. I yearn for His heart to be captivated by my life. I long for Him to know that my life is a place where He can come and release Himself.
I love that all this talk of faithfulness is just that....believing what I cannot see....a life full of faith. I believe in all these things lie true success. So long luke warmness with good intentions and a fake smile.
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