I was just telling someone the other day how theraputic it is for me to blog. It helps me put chase down so many conflicting thoughts and organize them into the proper categories such as: important thoughts, unimportant thoughts, prayer issues, personal issues, and so on... Since the last time I blogged, I think I really have become a different person. I'd like to give credit to myself in being moldable; however, today's trials and blessings will either mold me or break me. I also told someone the other day that was struggling that the only thing that will remain the same in this world is the fact that things will always change.
Since my last blog, I have become more submissive to my husband and a better listener. I had earnestly prayed and prayed to become a woman of grace and meekness. I want to be a soft place for hurt people to land and to re-equip themselves. I'm definately not "arrived" in this category, but I am glad that God is molding me in this area.
I've had prophesy after prophesy about my future. It is an eary feeling to have a call of ministry on your life when it seems somewhat seperate from your husband's calling. I know that at some point in my life, I see a platform. Apparently, God sees it ,too. I know that I did not have this dream on my own. A long time ago, before I knew prophesy was supposed to exist in the church, I heard God tell me as I was praying for the "our" ministry (me as the wife on the pew and Dustin as the preacher). Anywhoo, I heard God ask me, "Jenna, what if I give you the microphone?" I quickly put that thought to the side convincing myself that God was just trying to convince me not to limit my own abilities in God, so I tucked it nice and neat in a corner of my heart. Well, God has DEFINATELY brought it back up through my own connection with Him as well as through prophesy and open opportunities.
Let me get something straight, though. Dustin's ministry is FIRST. I would never do anything to jeopardize his ministry or to limit my ability to be there for him. It would devestate me to be a hindrance to him. When I said my vows, I knew that wherever Dustin would lead is where I would go. If Dustin told me to pack up and move away from a ministry that I was involved in, I would go. However, I have such a strong confidence that my husband's connection to the Lord is real and authentic. He has NEVER made a decision that was not from God directly. I am so proud that he has never depended on a man's input into where he leads his family. He has a direct connection, and I am so thankful. It is also wonderful that God has added a mentor into his life. I'm so grateful in every way that it is the right person at the right time and in the right order.
*Wow, this blog is getting long, and I feel like I have just begun to share what is going on in my life.*
There has been unexpected fear as I have felt a push of promotion from God. I guess when my flesh senses God's movement, I begin to subconciously ask God if He is sure He knows what He is doing. What a silly question, right? I just have to trust that He will always make up the difference! As Kari Jobe says, "I know that You are for Me, I know that You are for me....I know that You will never forsake me in my weakness."
Last week (or so), Dustin and I helped with Collision, a youth camp that our fantastic youth pastors host annually. God moved so strong that my body could not contain it. My good friend described it best as "an open heaven". That's another thing that has happened recently, I have met one of the people that I will probably love till I die. I say that because my heart has connected itself to her...and God telling me I should open up to her is a pretty good indication. ha You know it is true friendship or sisterhood when you really just love that person unconditionally. I also have another relationship like that, but I'll stay more surface.
Yah, back to Collision. I was on the prayer team and God used me! What an honor. It was none of me and ALL of Him. I say that with complete sincerity. I saw two girls seeking the Lord get slammed with the power of God as I released a word over them. I so learned the power of surrender! Now, I must learn how to do what our evangelist knows how to do soooooo well.....WALK in surrender everywhere I go. He is the master at it!
Well, I need to type out the word God has given me for a group of girls, including myself, for Friday night. Hopefully, my friend Melissa will drop by soon.
Thanks for sharing this with me...really.
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