This evening as I was taking my dogs out, God embraced me as I stood there outside. It was a familiar embrace that nothing in this world could ever compare with. The best way that I can physically describe it is that it is like coming in from freezing temperatures and stepping into a quaint cabin with a fire lit, then curling up in a warm blanket that is big enough to completely surround you. It is complete bliss to be embraced and loved by the creator of the Universe. My Creator is so powerful, yet so gentle and hospitable to my fragile flesh. Isn't that beautiful?....
I walked back inside to make myself some hot tea, and I felt it again. As I began to surrender to the love that God was wanting to wrap me in, I realized that God's love for me never leaves. I have been under such distress with so many different aspects of my life....I've often thought God was using it to correct me or punish me in areas that I thought I had totally surrendered to Him. I, in a sense, felt entrapped by what I thought had been a pursuit of righteousness.
As I began to sip my tea and focus on what God was trying to show me, I realized that the depth of His love for me overcomes all of my insecurities. He assured me that the trials and distress had been an opportunity to experience intimacy with Him in a way that I never knew was possible. I began to understand that the trials and stresses weren't a sign of my wrong actions, but a sign that God loves me enough to do whatever possible to get closer to me. He knows I run to Him more when the hard time come! I know that He does this from LOVE because God completely knows that He is in control; therefore, these trials that bring me closer are in actuality completely controlled by God. I am certainly not saying that God inflicts pain upon His children for His own sake, but what I am saying is that an enormous rush of peace overwhelms me to know that my future days aren't as unsteady as I originally thought.
Although, I have no complete understanding of what Job went through, I felt so relieved to find his story in the bible. He faced unimaginable trials. However, he had a similar revelation when he said, "For I know that my Redeemer lives, And He shall stand at last on the earth; And after my skin is destroyed, this I know, That in my flesh I will SEE God." God has the last say...PERIOD. The commentary states that moments before this statement, he was under enormous oppression. However, God embraced him and he felt an extraordinary impulse of the blessed Spirit, which raised him above Himself, gave him light, and gave him utterance. This hope quieted his spirit, stilled the storm, and, having here cast anchor within the veil, his mind was kept steady from this time forward.
I have to say that sums up exactly what I felt. As I felt the impulse of the Holy Spirit, I began to decree inside of my soul that God is my Redeemer from all that life can throw at you. I felt raised above myself, quieted by the Spirit, stilled in the storm, and anchored within the veil as to keep my mind steady from that moment forward.
Now, I pray to God that I will learn to lean, rest, and rely on Him just as much in the good times as in the difficult times. Thank you Jesus, for not letting me take shortcuts to becoming who I am going to be. When I go to heaven, I don't want to have not known the victorious power that comes after trials and oppression. I want to be able to rejoice in heaven knowing that all of who God is is what I experienced on earth. I may not have a dazzling testimony filled with deliverance from drugs etc, but when I go to heaven I will know Jesus as not just my lover and friend but also my Redeemer and Strong Tower!
In case you are wondering, I write my experiences in this blog because I have a passion for writing and I hope to articulate what God has done in my life to bring glory to Him. I have been journaling faithfully since I was a freshman in high school. I love writing and expressing my inner thoughts so that maybe just one discouraged soul may be uplifted by a testimony of what the Lord is doing in my life. Just as Job's story better put into words my encounter, so I hope that my story will expand someone else's perspective of a current encounter.
No comments:
Post a Comment